How to Pull Yourself Up from the Bootstraps––and Live to Talk About It
Help your self by helping others.
The phrase pulling yourself up by the bootstraps began as a metaphor emphasizing the absurdity of the idea one can lift oneself out of a difficult or impossible situation without outside help. Over time the phrase began to mean the opposite and now emphasizes the idea of self-reliance and one can achieve a desired result solely by one’s own effort, hard work, and determination.
Despite growing up in a fundamental Christian home, oddly absent was any emphasis on relying on God for anything other than salvation. Being a country girl, pulling oneself up by the bootstraps in the contemporary sense was expected whenever I was in a dilemma. But at 23 years old I was in quite a pickle. Pulling myself up by the bootstraps in any definition felt impossible with a capital I.
Newly separated from my husband, I became a single mom of three young children, the oldest was shy of her fifth birthday. Times were tough, and the future looked bleak. I didn’t have reliable transportation and went without a car sometimes months at a time. I was wallowing in self-pity and grief.
The best advice given and taken came from an older woman with a shared experience in her youth. She counseled me the best remedy for self-pity and/or grief was to look outside myself and help others also struggling and hurting. I went for it.
I started with small acts like reaching for top shelf items for those in wheelchair motorized carts; when I had transportation, shopping for those who couldn’t; giving a bag of groceries from my own meager supply to one with nothing to eat that day; or helping an infirm elderly woman sweep and mops floors. It didn’t have to be a big or grandiose gesture––I simply became more mindful of the needs of others. I began to purposely look for these opportunities.
Something wonderful began to happen. The dark cloud hovering over me began to lift to allow a shaft of hope to beam again into my soul. Each time I reached out and helped someone else, the burden of being broke, without a partner or transportation, and the responsibility of being the sole source for three little girls lightened. It didn’t change my circumstances, but it changed me.
Life went on, as it does, and now I’m a senior alone in an empty house and only a dog to care for. In my loneliness, I remembered my youth and the advice of this kind woman and began researching avenues to reach out. I found a venue through a local hospital, signed up and worked for a few months until the 2020 lockdowns severely limited the division I was involved in and came to a dead stop.
We are well past that, thankfully, and volunteers are back in full force. Helpers are needed as foster grandparents, meals on wheels, food banks, drivers for those unable to get around on their own or be a companion to an isolated senior. Other venues needing help include homeless shelters, church food banks, Haven Humane or pet rescue services, local libraries and a host of other organizations.
Scientific studies have proven that volunteering enriches the life of the giver and the receiver. For retirees, it is a great way to add purpose, a way to fill empty days, and share the knowledge, wisdom, and/or skills one has gained throughout life. There are many organizations, especially nonprofits, needing support from volunteers. Additional resources to search though are
https://www.volunteermatch.org, or search the web within your locality for institutions looking for volunteers.
You CAN pull yourself up by the bootstraps in the original metaphorical sense and live to talk about it but it won’t be accomplished alone. People need people. Help yourself by helping others. It’s a win/win.